If you’ve been betrayed, the discovery of an affair may be one of the most devastating experiences of your life. Even if you’ve suspected your partner has been unfaithful, you feel shock and disbelief when it’s confirmed. You may feel as though your whole world has completely collapsed and experience a flood of emotions including hurt, rage, jealousy, confusion, humiliation, and profound grief. Normal activites like eating, sleeping, working, or simply functioning often are very difficult. You may also feel relief… knowing that what you’ve suspected is confirmed. You now know the truth and no longer feel “crazy”.
If you’ve been unfaithful and your partner has discovered your affair, you will probably feel overwhelmed with feelings. These feelings may include guilt, remorsefulness, confusion, and defensiveness. Feeling frightened of what you’ve done, you may feel paralyzed to take any course of action. You also may feel deeply ashamed of yourself. If the discovery took place some time ago, you may feel frustrated, impatient, discouraged, and even angry with how long it’s taken to restore trust and confidence.
These feelings may last months or years if the trauma and deep anguish is not worked through and allowed to heal. Rebuilding trust, honesty, and closeness may be a long and challenging endeavor. Without question, it may be the hardest thing you’ll each ever have to do. Some couples never recover. Others do repair their relationships and find that the work that they did to repair their relationship was transformative and made their marriage or relationship stronger than ever.
Whether you’re married or unmarried and you’ve been betrayed or you’ve been unfaithful, therapy is a crucial part of the recovery process. I can provide individuals or couples with a safe and non-judgemental place to discuss your feelings and thoughts and begin the healing process, whether you’re at the pre- or post discovery stages of an affair.